To this day everything I do, you are never far from my thoughts. You really were an angel on earth. You touched the hearts of so many and have certainly left a legacy of unconditional love to those you have left behind. Because of who you are as a person so many were drawn to you ‘myself included’. Your energy was so calming, You are selfless, understanding, kind, giving and certainly trustworthy a true definition of LOVE. These qualities were not given to many, but you had it in abundance. They say never question what God had done, because only he has the answers, but I did. I was angry with him for taking my best friend away, not her please God not her. No amount of prayers and asking God to forgive sins that were committed knowingly or unknowingly could keep you here with us. So all I had to do was take comfort in knowing that I had you in my life for all those years. I continue to count the years of our friendship because you are still my friend and guardian angel.
“Always cherish those you love, because you never know when they may be taken from you”.
I was seventeen when we met, fresh out of school with a huge ego. I had gotten my first job at a nursery, you was there… although we worked in different rooms we got talking on our lunch break. There was something about you, I didn’t know this then but it was your aura. We clicked and during a conversation we found out that one of your relative was dating one of mines, (small world) So the friendship blossomed. However I was a child with the weight of the world on my shoulder. You embraced me with all my flaws, when most didn’t understand me you stood by me, you didn’t judge, instead you listened and would give me the space I needed and things would go back to how it was with us once I got out of my ego… Your traits are so precious because you would do anything for anyone without thinking twice.
“Love gives us memories. Faith gives us strength”.
Some took your kindness for weakness, but we both know God knew your heart and even though he wanted you to join him, he continued to give you assignments to mend and heal those around you. I picture your smile all the time, your picture’s hang in my living room for my children to see their aunty Latoya who is in heaven watching over us. Your smile – Girl that smile just lights up the room. That is one of your features I miss seeing how bright your smile was . Your pose when taking photos, the way you dance when we raved together, always the shy one, I would be on stage you would be in the corner rocking side to side LOL. We honestly had so much fun. The more time we spent together people would ask: ‘Are you two sisters?’ We would reply “Yes we are sisters”.
There are so many memories I have of us… starting with you introducing me to your family, who welcomed me with open arms. Our trips to Birmingham and all the gatherings small and large. The one thing with you is you never leave me out… no matter what you always find a way to include me even when I am in bad mood. Which then cheers me up, it is as if you could tell what I needed before I could. The fun continued from house parties to sophisticated dinners, picnics in your favourite park and even though you didn’t really drink, we sure enjoyed a few drinks up. I miss those days, I miss you. I was listening to a song just recently which bought tears to my eyes… the song was – Missing You (set it off) by Tamia, Brandy, Chaka Khan and Gladys Knight. It really puts things into prospective, because we take life and things for granted and knowing that you my sister who was full of life and no longer here to live it, breaks my heart. I know you would not want me or anyone else to feel sad. So as I write this I am picturing our trip to Jamaica which was one of my best holidays ever. Not only did I get to be you maid of honour, I got to witness you experiencing one of the happiest days of your life. Thought-out our friendship we spoke about wanting a happy ever after and although that may not have been the case. You got what you needed at that time.
You have changed my life and I am forever grateful for you. You have always encouraged me to do better with my life, you saw so much potential in me more than I saw in myself. I remember when I found out I was pregnant, you were so excited. We spoke about me bringing my daughter round so you could braid her hair as I didn’t know how to braid hair. Sis you would be proud because “I can now” I said to you “sis you are going to help me raise this child”, because you were caring I knew I could count on you. I wish you were still here to see how she is growing. I made sure I told her all about you as the years past, so it feels as though knows you. I told her to look for friends that holds the qualities that you had and she really has taken that on board. I am thankful for ever second we had spent together and all the lessons you had taught me. I am thankful that you taught me how to forgive. I am thankful for the relationship I have since developed with your family and I feel as though this was all down to you, because they have been amazing to me and my children. They have helped me overcome trials and my battle with depression without them I honestly don’t know where I would be right now.
They say there is a reason, they say that time will heal, but neither time nor reason will change the way I feel. For no-one knows the heartache, that lies behind my smile, no-one knows how many times I have broken down and cried. I want to tell you something so there won’t be any doubt, you’re so wonderful to think of, but so hard to be without.
For anyone that have lost a friend or family I know it is hard, but I hope you take comfort in knowing that the person you have lost would not want for you to be sad or lose sight of your goals. Instead they would want you to push harder, when facing heartache it is easy to spiral out of control because of that pain and wanting to feel numb and less empty. I have felt it too but think about this: If the person you have lost was still here what would you be doing?’ They may not be here in the physically aspect but spiritually if you believe – they are right by your side. Over the years I have gotten in some dyer situations and somehow survived, that my readers is not luck, but a higher power and someone watching out for me. I truly believe I have guardian angels one happens to be my best friend.
Rest in peace my beautiful friend and sister Latoya
Wishing you all love and healing on your journey, remember never take life or people for granted because no-one is promised a tomorrow. Be the peace you want to receive.
Love Mel x